I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
