im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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