i just had sex bonerless
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
God gave him joint rollers for hands
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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