I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
