It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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