im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
