i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
love makes seman taste better
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
