He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
