I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
