I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
