Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
