Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm really busy with my period
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