How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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