i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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