Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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