he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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