we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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