Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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