i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
