Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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