I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
