Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
