Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
