i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
