I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
