half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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