She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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