i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
