Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize