Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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