u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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