I like to think it a success when the cops are called
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just had sex bonerless
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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