If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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