i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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