Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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