turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
