No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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