chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So squirting runs in the family.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
