Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
