i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
