I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
