I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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