stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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