Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
