But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
