Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
