You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize