Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
