Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
