How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
