So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
