Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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