How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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