I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
