WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
