In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
