and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
