I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
