woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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