my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
