Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
