What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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