I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
